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Being a nerd in the real world can be really frustrating; you’re constantly depicted in the media as factoid-robot such as in The Big Bang Theory, or you’re marketed to as a 18-24 male who loves to guzzle World of Warcraft’s special edition Mountain Dew…and you have a strangely manicured shaggy neck beard.

The media and society at large has done its best to highlight how different nerds are from “Normals”. Superficially nerds condem the movement, but I think subconsciously we embrace being the “outsiders” of society; after all, that’s what makes us unique…but are we as unique and above it all as we like to think?

Nerds often trace their blooming disassociation back to middle school or high school, probably the most horrifying time in a person’s life. Puberty, familial expectations, bullying: all these factors are thrown in the melting pot that is grades 9-12.

I was, like a lot of nerds, socially awkward. Even when I was 14, I didn’t like other 14-year-olds. But really, why would I? Why would ANY kid? The school system is a social meat grinder. Pretty much all through high school I was bullied to the point I would skip school or walk 2 miles home to avoid riding the bus. In general, I felt different from 90% of my fellow students.

I know I’m not alone. Nearly everyone in high school experiences some type of bullying or social disassociation, but nerds usually take it as a badge of honor as they get older.

For the most part, nerds define themselves by what they are not. We are not the superficial cheerleaders or the thug-headed jocks. We’re above all that petty drama about who’s sleeping with whom, or who got invited to what party. We are more mature, more sensitive than most people our age. We are so over high school and so ready to get to college where people will appreciate us!

While we may end up excelling in scholarship, many nerds eventually find that within college, and even within their ultimate careers, we are still defined by being the opposite of our peers. Didn’t catch the game last night? Did you see what Mary was wearing? These daily questions, either directed towards us or overheard, seem to solidify just how different and better nerds are than Normals.

I’d argue, however, that nerds are not above superficiality that we see in Normals. If you look deeper into nerd subculture, bullying and petty arguments are alive and well. Countless forums and blogging sites allow us nerds to unleash our inner mocking jock or cheerleader. Although based on completely different topics, the idea is the same: demean, demoralize and insult your enemies. Fight over petty squanderings. Websites such as the late Encyclopedia Dramatica and 4chan catalog hateful insults and flame wars that are equal to or worse than physical bullying. The justification for this is often the nerd’s sense of internet elitism.

It would be easy to label the internet as a dehumanizing tool that brings out the worst in people, but it would also be completely dismissive of how it functions in our lives. The internet is a simple medium that allows us to act a certain way without the same type of social consequences we’d face in the real world…and that is the key to its role in nerd warfare.

While Normals publically display their vindictive side, nerds frequently reserve the internet as their safehouse where we can as judgmental, superficial and hateful as the common high school bully. I know meek, MEEK people who have been impassioned and sent foaming mad online, while on the outside they only silently clacking away on their keyboard. With the lovely social buffer of the internet, the quietest person can unleash their opinions and arguments without sacrificing their own personal space.

As much as nerds like to think they’re above bullying behavior (some of which caused us trauma at a younger age), we ultimately make the same petty arguments and attacks as the Normals do in the real world.The internet essentially allows nerds to digitally throw a glass of champagne in that skank’s face (who totally deserves it), but from a safe distance.

Is the internet evil? No. Are nerds worse bullies than Normals? No. Nerds have just found a way to hotwire the social network to avoid physical confrontations Normals are accustomed to. Nerds and Normals alike, we all have the potential to have a detrimental or positive impact on the world. The first step on both sides is to realize neither of us are “special” or “better” than the other, just different.

Normals need nerds to fix their computers and we need them to break them in the first place.